12 Lessons Buddies Would Approve

Homelessness offers painful lessons (for the rest of us).

With deep respect for these two guys I’ve known over the years, both named Buddy. Photos by Diane Nilan

Rev. Mike Ballman, Pastor at Cornerstone/Plymouth Bethesda Church UCC, Utica, NY, posted this list on Facebook 12/29/21, as he offered hospitality and a safe place to sleep for those with nowhere to live.

Few clergy that I’ve encountered have such an insightful, humane, compassionate sense about people experiencing homelessness. I stumbled upon this list while digital diving on my computer. I asked and was granted permission to share it.

Could someone pass it on to our Supreme Court Justices whose upcoming decision on criminalizing homelessness is beyond their comprehension?

A 5-minute video I made, Social InSecurity, if you’d like to hear about homelessness from Buddy and other seniors. Photo by Diane Nilan

From Rev. Mike:

Some things I have learned during my 37 consecutive night exhaustion strike doing overnights at the Morrow Warming Center for those with no home:

1. Everybody needs a community to love and be loved by — — those experiencing extreme poverty just have less resources to pretend otherwise or find healthy communities.
2. Everybody anesthetizes their pain, some just have more socially acceptable means to do so.
3. Functioning addicts who can keep their homes and jobs tend to hate addicts who can’t maintain the facade.
4. Bigotry in word and deed is still acceptable in “civilized” and “woke” society especially if you frame it under “quality of life.”
5. I had so many misconceptions, fears and prejudices about mental illness, addiction and homelessness until I spent time with people experiencing homelessness.
6. The war on drugs has criminalized a medical problem and exiled suffering people to the margins.
7. The criminalization and dehumanization of those experiencing homelessness help us justify our callousness to their suffering.
8. When it comes to homelessness, we prefer charity over equality, paternalism over autonomy, and transactions over relationships.
9. We, as humans can’t handle seeing suffering especially if we think it is self-induced, so we want to insulate ourselves from it and pretend it doesn’t exist.
10. People suffering from addiction, mental illness and trauma, many of whom have burned all their relational and social service bridges, can be difficult to interact with, but that in no way nullifies their right to food, shelter, and dignity.
11. The only hope for holistic solutions to homelessness is for all of us to build meaningful relationships with people experiencing homelessness so we appreciate each other’s humanity.
12. If those who have a voice don’t stand up for the poor, every conversation about homelessness and homeless policy will be about the rights of the privileged and not the rights of the poor.

As someone who ran shelters for 15 years, I can deeply appreciate what Rev. Mike endured those 37 consecutive nights (during Covid!) as he opened his church’s doors to those with nowhere to go. I’m impressed he came up with such a cogent, coherent list! I’d have been babbling.